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"Jinx!" "Let's Play Turnipball!" "The Ghost IS Molly McGee"
This is a transcribed copy of Let's Play Turnipball!.
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- [upbeat music] - [crowd cheering]

MOLLY: Gather round, folks, gather round,

'cause this is the year Brighton finally beats Perfektborg

at our own beloved game of turnipball!

Because Brighton has a secret weapon.

WEIRD LARRY: - A giant slingshot? - The power of love.

- A robot with lasers? - Me!

No, I give you the Titan Of Turnipball,

The Rookie Of Root-based Sports,

The Swoop With The Alley Oop,

[imitates drumroll]

Ollie Chen!

- [dramatic music] - [Ollie grunting]

[water burbling]

[turnip splats]

[car alarm blaring]

[crowd cheering]

Is that good or bad?

This game is really confusing.

The kid's a natural!

We might actually have a shot.

I declare this day Get Your Hopes Up Too High Day!

[crowd cheering]

[tense music]

♪ Our time has finally come ♪

♪ We'll wash off the stink of shame ♪

♪ For the first time in Brighton history ♪

♪ We may actually win a game ♪

♪ Every year, they dominate us ♪

♪ Shame our town, humiliate us ♪

♪ That all ends today because our secret weapon's here ♪

Aw, man, that's a lotta pressure.

♪ This is Brighton's year ♪

- [man] This is Brighton's year! - [crowd cheering]

Molly, I know this will be our 25th time,

but can you go over the rules again?

Ha, no need. You're doing great, buddy!

♪ The whole world writes us off ♪

♪ They say we're clumsy and we're slow ♪

How dare they!

♪ Everybody thinks we're losers ♪

But are we gonna lose today?

It's possible!

♪ We'll destroy 'em ♪

♪ We'll defeat 'em ♪

♪ What a joy to finally beat 'em ♪

♪ Order tons of nonrefundable victory souvenirs ♪

♪ 'Cause this is Brighton's year ♪

♪ Thanks to our rookie sensation ♪

♪ This is Brighton's year ♪

♪ No need to temper expectations ♪

♪ Town morale is soaring ♪

♪ You just keep on scoring 'til the trophy's here ♪

♪ This is Brighton ♪

♪ This is Brighton's year ♪

OK, so I'm thinking I'm gonna possess the players, OK?

I'm gonna make 'em all walk around like a lot of drool,

think a lot of drool.

- Scratch, hey, look at me. - Yeah.

No ghosty tricks this time.

I wanna beat these jerks fair and square.

And then eat their pastries with my mouth.

Besides, with Ollie on our side, we can't lose!

Still don't understand the rules!

Come on!

You can't keep a dynamo like old Scratchy here on the bench.

[sighs] Look, I know you wanna help,

but last time, it just went a little off the rails,

so can you please promise me

you're not gonna possess any of the players, or the coach?

I know what you're thinking.

Fine.

Or the turnipball.

Ah, take all the fun, why don't ya?

- [horn honks] - [bus rumbling]

- [ominous music] - [cleats thudding]

[Principal O'Connor] Look at those new fancy shmancy uniforms

with "no moth holes".

Syvertsson.

O'Connor.

And you must be team captain Quinby?

Yah. Kringle?

[choral music]

[gasps] Half pretzel, half churro, all for Molly, ah!

Accept no gifts from the enemy!

This treat could be poisoned!

I can't believe I almost fell for that.

How low will they stoop?

Eh, Molly and her rules.

[people laughing]

[upbeat music]

Hey, check it, the meatball's eating me!

[camera clicks]

[groans]

Molly didn't say anything

about possessing discarded mascot costumes.

[laughs] I love a good loophole.

- [whistle trills] - Let's play turnipball!

- [crowd cheering] - Molly, what do I use here,

the golf club or the cricket bat with the googly eyes?

Exactly!

Now go out there, and show 'em what Brighton's made of.

[crowd cheering]

- [whistle trills] - Was that good?

That boy's got some serious heat!

[upbeat music]

Dinner is served, and meatball's on the menu.

Spa-ghett out of the way, meatball.

Oh, boy, we got ourselves

an old-fashioned mascot dance off!

[upbeat music]

[Scratch groaning]

[Bobby] Whoa, that's gotta hurt...

- Ow. - [Bobby] ...his ego.

[crowd laughing]

[tense music]

- [Ollie grunts] - [Patty] What a save by Chen!

And the turnip didn't splatter,

so that's more points for Brighton!

Ooh, you absolute dreamboat!

We're up 17 to four!

I can see that golden turnip in our trophy case now.

Can you see it? Tell me you can see it!

Molly, I have no idea what I'm doing.

[vuvuzelas blaring]

- Uh, what's happening? - [whistle trills]

Ah, that's the purple card for the hotshot rookie.

Now he's gotta cool his heels in the penalty box.

Everyone has to freeze and be silent

when you hear the vuvuzelas!

I don't even know what a vuvuzela is!

With Brighton's boy wonder out of commission,

you can be sure Perfektborg will take full advantage.

[wonky music]

[Molly grunts]

[rooster crows]

[Patty] Well, cock-a-doodle-darn.

That's the signal for seventh half-time.

Those Perfektborgians are too perfect!

Ah! And it stinks!

[sniffing] Wait... [sniffs]

that's not the stink of perfection.

[sniffing] It's... Hmm.

[crunching]

Flaky crumbs delicately drizzled with sugar?

This is kringle!

Those beautiful bullies

have been sneaking around our locker room!

[gasps] You think they might be...

- cheating? - Rigged!

[crowd cheering]

Get your turnip popcorn here!

Turnip dogs, fresh squeezed turnip juice!

Snack girl, I'll take one of everything.

Thanks, mister!

Let's see how funny you are

when you're covered in concession stand

condiments, pal.

[suspenseful music]

- [upbeat music] - [kids cheering]

Got any turnip tornadoes?

Thanks, Meatball.

[groans]

♪ Sneaking into their locker room ♪

♪ Gonna find proof they're cheating ♪

♪ And the horns are, like, bah-nah-bah-nah-bah-nah ♪

Oh, secret playbook, huh?

What are you doing in our locker room?

- [yelps] - Oh, no, is someone injured?

If so, please take our medical supplies.

We have kitty and puppy bandages.

Which do you prefer? Maybe the puppies?

Oh, yeah, absolutely, no contest.

Wait, what happened to your scary voices,

and your scary frowns?

You mean, our game faces?

Game faces?

We demonstrate fierce, friendly,

fierce, friendly, fierce, friendly!

So you're not mean, or evil?

Perfektborg is good?

My worldview is crumbling!

Quinby, get her a kringle.

[groaning]

Oh, corn, this is so good.

I'm sorry, I was convinced you were cheating.

- [players gasp] - [dramatic music]

We don't even have a word for that in our native tongue.

But then, why were you in our locker room?

Oh, we left a basket of kringles as a treat.

Did you not get them?

Oh, whatever could've happened to them?

[chomping, belches]

We have a pest problem.

I let competition cloud my judgment.

I made you the enemy but, mm, seriously these are so good.

And so are you, it's just Brighton needs a win

after 129 years.

There is only one thing to do.

Yah, we throw the game,

and allow you to feel the victory thrill.

You'd do that for us?

Yah, it will be nice

to feel the thrill of pitiful failure.

Well, "pitiful" wasn't necessary, but thank you?

- [upbeat music] - [crowd cheering]

[fireworks whistling]

All right, Meatball.

Prepare to get served.

[roaring]

[screaming]

Let me out of this warm embrace! Eeh!

- [tender music] - Mm, what are you doing?

[gasps] You're right, Meatball.

Who am I mad at? Not you!

You're just a random meatball with vacant googly eyes.

I'm not mad at you, I'm mad at myself.

You're the wisest being I've ever met,

and I met Abraham Lincoln once.

[upbeat music]

[turnip splats]

[Patty] I don't know what happened,

but Perfektborg isn't lookin' so perfect anymore!

[upbeat music]

[unicycles squeaking]

[wonky music]

Not the sudden death zone!

That gives 170 points to Perfektborg and ends the game!

- [gong crashes] - Perfektborg wins again,

with a final score of 176

to 22 and 1/4.

[sighs] Stupid sport.

Everything has googly eyes, nothing makes sense.

We are so sorry.

We'll try harder to lose next year.

[upbeat music]

Really gonna miss that guy, you know?

So humble, so wise, so tasty with gravy.

Feeling worried about the good folk of Brighton.

I don't know if they're ever gonna recover from this.

[chomping]

Another disgusting loss at the hands of Perfektborg.

But, we didn't get shut out, let's celebrate!

[crowd cheering]

Woo, we'll get 'em next year!

Woo!

- [car thuds] - [crowd cheers]

I guess scoring any points is a victory for Brighton.

You want half of this kringle?

I can't believe you're even asking me.

[Scratch chomping]

I said half!

ve Episode transcripts
Season 1 1. The Curse/First Day Frights • 2. Howlin' Harriet/The (Un)natural • 3. Getting the Band(shell) Back Together/The Greatest Concert Ever • 4. Mama's Gotta Hustle/Hooray for Mollywood! • 5. Not So Honest Abe/The Best of Nin-tensions • 6. Mazel Tov, Libby!/No Good Deed • 7. The Turnip Twist/All Systems No • 8. Monumental Disaster/Talent Show • 9. Scratch the Surface/Friend-Off • 10. Festival of Lights/Saving Christmas • 11. Ice Princess/Ready, Set, Snow! • 12. Game Night/The Don't-Gooder • 13. Innocent Until Proven Ghostly/Twin Trouble • 14. Goat Your Own Way/A Very Hungry Ghost • 15. Scare Tactics/The Bad Boy Bobby Daniels • 16. Citizen McGee/The Internship, • 17. Lucky Penny/Lock, Stock, and Peril • 18. Out of House and Home/Home is Where the Haunt Is • 19. Scaring is Caring/All Night Plight • 20. The Jig is Up/Molly Vs. The Ghost World
Season 2 1. The New (Para)Normal • 2. Book Marks the Sprite/Double, Darryl & Trouble • 3. Faint of Art/A Soda to Remember • 4. A Period Piece/It's Always Sunny in Sunnyland • 5. I Wanna Dance With Some-Ollie/Davenport's on Demand • 6. A Doll to Die For/The (After)life of the Party • 7. Frightmares on Main Street • 8. The Unhaunting of Brighton Video/100% Molly McGee • 9. All Shark No Bite/Nin-dependence • 10. Like Father Like Libby/Dance Dad Revolution • 11. Jinx!/Let's Play Turnipball! • 12. The Ghost IS Molly McGee/All in the Mind • 13. Carbon Zero Heroes/Davenport's in Demise • 14. Web of Lies/Kenny's Falling Star • 15. Welcome to NecroComic-Con/Fit to Print • 16. Smile Valley Farm/The Grand Gesture • 17. The Many Lives of Scratch/Alaka-Sham! • 18. F.O.N.A.A.!/Game On • 19. White Christmess/Perfect Day • 20. Jinx vs. The Human World • 21. The End
Others The Ghost and Molly McGee: Spring Shorts-tacular