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School[]
(The scene opens at school. Darryl is pushing a janitor’s cart, positioning it for his next stunt. He stops the cart at the edge of the stairs, puts on motorcycle goggles and jumps in the cart.)
Darryl: Three, two, one.
(He balances himself forward, rides downstairs and out the building. He takes a leaf blower and uses it to gain more speed for his last stunt, to the other kids’ amusement. Molly and Scratch are seen playing basketball as Darryl passes through.)
Scratch: That's my man! You go, D-Dawg!
(He finally uses a damaged fence as a ramp, jumps out the cart and causes an explosion behind him. Everyone praises him.)
Kids: Darryl! Darryl! Darryl!
(Off-screen, someone blows a whistle, making the kids run away and leaving Darryl behind.)
Principal's Office[]
(Darryl, along with his parents and three other teachers, are deciding on Darryl’s punishment.)
Principal O'Connor: (sigh) Considering this is the 27th report…(moves stack of previous reports aside) in your file in three weeks, the punishment will have to be severe.
Darryl: Why does this keep happening? I'm just trying to be awesome.
Mr. Bates: We have no option but to expel him!
Ms. Lightfoot: Expulsion, Mr. Bates?
Mr. Bates: He's a clear and present menace!
Mrs. Roop: Oh, come on. He's a kid. The only menace around here is Miss Lightfoot and that stinky salmon she microwaves in the teachers' lounge!
Ms. Lightfoot: (gasp) I have a vitamin D problem.
Mrs. Roop: Take a supplement!
Mr. Bates: Supplements are a lie.
(The teachers start arguing.)
Principal O'Connor: I really need to schedule a teacher team-building day.
(The arguing continues. Scratch is shown now spying on their conversation. Molly pulls him out.)
Molly: So, what's happening in there?
Scratch: Oh, they're fighting. It's chaos!
Molly: Fighting?! Who's winning? Is it Darryl? He's taken at least one-and-a-half Taekwondo classes.
Scratch: No! The teachers are fighting! They haven't even gotten to Darryl yet. Now, lemme go back! I'm missing the good stuff.
Molly: Wait!
(Back to the teachers.)
Principal O'Connor: I believe the fair punishment is… six years detention!
Darryl: But middle school is only three years.
Principal O'Connor: Ho-ho-ho-ho, not at the rate you're going!
Ride Home[]
(Once they leave school, the McGees talk to Darryl about his behavior.)
Sharon: There goes your fresh start at a new school.
Pete: I thought Brighton was gonna be different, Darryl.
Darryl: I was just trying to liven up recess! It's been so boring since they condemned the swing set.
Pete: That doesn't mean you can commandeer a janitor's cart! Haven't we had this exact conversation before?
Darryl: No. Those were shopping carts, custodian carts, and go-karts!
Pete: All carts are off limits. If it's got wheels, stop commandeering it!
Darryl: (sigh) What's your secret, Molly? You never get called down to the principal's office. What are you doing that I'm not?
Molly: It's more about what I'm not doing.
Scratch: Which is pretty much anything you're doing.
Darryl: Maybe you could teach me your ways? Show me how to not to get in trouble?
Molly: Ooh! Like, nice lessons?
Basement[]
(Molly has set up the basement for her “Nice lessons”. She shows a board saying “How to be good”.)
Molly: Welcome, class, to my first-ever seminar: How to Be--
Scratch: Boo! Being good's for suckers- (Molly sprays water on Scratch) Ack! Hey!
Molly: Please refrain from distracting the other students. Today, we will learn the 12 steps to being good.
Darryl: Twelve?! OK, real talk, my attention span is, like, 15 minutes, including a snack breeaa… (Gets distracted by a fly.)
Molly: OK. We'll skip being considerate to your elders, having a strong moral compass, befriending stray kittens. You know what? I'll just boil it down to the three essentials. Step one: Think About Others.
(Montage a Molly attempting to teach Darryl, and partly Scratch, how to be good.)
Singer: ♪ It's nice to be nice ♪
♪ As my mother once said ♪
♪ It's good to be good ♪
♪ And it's fun to be fun ♪
♪ It's nice to be nice ♪
♪ Ooh ♪
♪ It's nice to be nice ♪
♪ To be nice, to be ♪
♪ Ooh ♪
♪ It's good to be nice ♪
♪ As my mother once said ♪
♪ It's good to be good ♪
♪ And it's fun to be fun ♪
Kitchen[]
(A nicer Darryl calls his parents to the kitchen.)
Darryl: Dear family! Breakfast is served! Lots of condensed milk on the roti canai, just how you like 'em.
Sharon: How'd you know!
Darryl: Nice people pay attention. Molly taught me that.
Pete: This is just like a restaurant!
Sharon: Wow, Darryl! Thank you! Molly, seems like your lessons worked! Eee!
(Scratch shows up and eats some of the food.)
Scratch: Mmm, that's some good roti!
Walking Outside[]
Darryl: Wow. Doing good really does feel good!
(police cars pass them.)
Molly: What's going on?
(They reach the school where the police cars are parked. The principal and students are outside.)
Principal O'Connor: The teachers! The teachers are missing! (kids start to run away) Wait! I'm still responsible for you! Until 3:14 p.m.!
(A random van explodes.)
Darryl: Wow, this worked out great!
Molly: Wait. You did this?
Darryl: No, sis. We did this. I followed your lessons to a T! I saw there was a problem, so I took responsibility to think of others and find a solution! (Flashback) The problem: Teachers ruin all the fun. But how to get rid of them? I remembered there was a prisoner pickup nearby because of our highway cleanup. So I gave the teachers orange jumpsuits to blend in on the bus, and I forged a note from Principal O'Connor to make their team-building day seem legit!
(The scene switches to teachers. They are shown stepping off the bus along the real prisoners.)
Mr. Bates: Strange place for team building, but what do I know?
Mrs. Roop: Oh-ho-ho, Bates, don't give me a set up line like that.
(Scene goes back to Molly and Darryl.)
Molly: You sent our teachers to prison?!
Darryl: By your face, I can tell that you're... proud?
(Scratch takes a picture.)
Scratch: Sorry, I just want to preserve this moment. And one more with the failure filter...
Molly: This is bad, Darryl! Really, really bad!
Darryl: How? Look! I made everyone happy!
Molly: You made the kids happy, but what about the teachers? Do you think they're happy? In prison?!
Darryl: Teachers? Have...feelings? Wha-- uh– Where does it end?! (sigh) Being good is harder than I thought.
Molly: Ya think?!
Darryl: OK, well… To fix this, we gotta... flee the country?
Molly: Save the teachers!
Darryl: Save the teachers, yes! Took the words right out of my mouth.
Brighton Correctional Facility[]
(The teachers are pushed to their cells.)
Ms. Lightfoot: Wow! What a realistic escape room! The walls even smell like–(sniffing)–despair!
Mrs. Roop: I should let my wife know I'll be later for dinner.
Guard: (crushes phone) No phones!
Mrs. Roop: Oh! How authentic!
Mr. Bates: (scoffs) These bars. Totally fake… OK, production value's pretty good here.
Mrs. Roop: Well, let's move it, shall we? Pam's making stroganoff tonight, and I don't wanna miss that. Start lookin' for those clues!
(Outside of prison, the kids try to reason with the guard.)
Molly: You don't understand, they're falsely imprisoned!
Guard: Sorry, kid. I'm not lettin' you in or anyone out.
Darryl: Don't worry. I know another way in. But we might have to be a little bad to do a little good.
(Back inside.)
Ms. Lightfoot: Oh! Do you think this is a clue?
Mr. Bates: I usually find you feckless and annoying, Lightfoot, but you've proved me wrong. In this case.
Mrs. Roop: Look, we just have to dig through that hole!
Electric Fence[]
Darryl: OK, Scratch. Just go through the fence and open the door for us.
Scratch: I mean, usually, people try to break out of prison, not in but what the hey.
(Scratch attempts to go through the fence but ends up electrocuted. He lands on the ground at the other side of the fence.)
Darryl: Is he dead?
Molly: I don't think a ghost can die?
(Scratch wakes up but acting silly.)
Scratch: Oh, look! It's the great ghost expert here to tell us all the ghost expert stuff she knows!
Molly: Guess electricity makes ghosts... silly?
Scratch: So glad you're here to enlighten us, ghost-pert!
Hole on the Wall[]
(Mrs. Roop and Ms. Lightfoot are digging the whole on the wall while Mr. Bates watches for guards.)
Mr. Bates: Here comes the heat.
(a guard passes by to check on prisoners, the three teachers start to “act normal”. The guard leaves.)
Mrs. Roop: Got away with that one.
(Scene changes back to the kids. Scratch is still going through the effects of the electric fence.)
Molly: Scratch, just open the door, please!
Scratch: (playing harmonica) ♪ I got them jail house blues! ♪ Whoo!
Molly: Yeah, that's great, so now could you please just--
Scratch: ♪ I got them… jail house... blues! ♪ Whoo!
Molly: Beautiful, Scratch. So could you please now– Could you--?
Prison escape[]
(On the other side, the teachers finally broke through the wall.)
Ms. Lightfoot: Yes! We did it!
(They all look up and notice the electric fence.)
Mr. Bates: How are we gonna get over that?
Darryl: I don't think we're getting the teachers out, Molly. (sigh) At least, not till Scratch sleeps this off. I'm just no good at being good. I'm... I'm always gonna be... bad.
Molly: You're not gonna be perfect overnight. Give it time. But in the meantime…(both grab shovels) Let's get diggin'!
(Back at the cell, a guard passes by and notices the “prisoners” are gone.)
Guard: Hm?
(The prison alarm goes off.)
Guard: Over here!
(The teachers get spotted and start to run, accidentally starting a prison riot.)
Mr. Bates: Obstacle course!
(They crawl away from the fight. One of the prisoner recognizing a teacher.)
Tommy: Ms. Roop?
Mrs. Roop: Tommy Knuckles! Sixth grade history!
Both: Third period!
Guard: Freeze!
(The guard follow Mrs. Roop. She then hide in a dirty clothes cart along the other teachers.)
Ms. Lightfoot: I think we're gonna fail team-building.
Mr. Bates: We'd need a rocket to get outta here!
Mrs. Roop: Maybe that delinquent McGee kid was onto something.
(Scratch finally wakes up from his nap and is back to normal.)
Scratch: Ugh. What happened? I have a splitting headache. Huh?
(Just as Molly and Darryl finally dig their way through the other side of the fence, the teachers are seen escaping on their own using the same technique Darryl used witha cart and a leaf blower.)
Scratch: OK, I feel like I missed a lot.
Back in School[]
Mrs. Roop: Not gonna lie, didn't have too much faith in you bozos, but we made a good team in the end!
Mr. Bates: (laughs) We did!
Ms. Lightfoot: Go team!
Molly: Who knew prison would be such a bonding experience?
Darryl: Yeah! I hope I get to go to prison some day.
Scratch: I think you will, sport. I think you will.
Darryl: And thanks, Molly. You've taught me a valuable lesson.
Molly: Aw, I'm glad to hear that, Darryl.
Darryl: Yep. I've learned that even when I try really hard to be good, I still get things wrong. So I should just be me and hope for the best!
Molly: Wait, what?
Darryl: Now, if you'll excuse me, I see an AV cart with my name on it!
Molly: No, no, no, no, that's not the lesson!
Scratch: I'm dropping your class.Información faltante.
Darryl: Tres, dos, uno…
[Darryl grita]
¡Sí!
[vítores]
[ríe]
[vítores]
Scratch: ¡Ese es mi chico! Sigue así, campeón.
[vítores]
[grita]
[ríe]
Niños: [todos] ¡Darryl, Darryl, Darryl!
[silbato]
Director O'Connor: Ah… Teniendo en cuenta que ya son 27 partes en tres semanas, el castigo deberá ser severo.
Darryl: ¿Por qué esto siempre acaba igual? Solo intento hacer algo alucinante.
Sr. Bates: No tenemos más opción que expulsarlo.
Srta. Lightfoot: ¿Expulsarlo?
Sr. Bates: Es una amenaza evidente.
Sra. Roop: Por favor, es un niño. La amenaza aquí es la señorita Lightfoot y ese apestoso salmón que se come en la sala de profesores.
Srta. Lightfoot: Tengo carencia de vitamina D.
Sra. Roop: ¡Tómate un suplemento!
Sr. Bates: Los suplementos no hacen nada, solo nos sacan dinero…
Director O'Connor: Necesito fomentar más el trabajo en equipo.
Molly: ¿Qué está pasando ahí?
Scratch: Están peleándose, es un caos.
Molly: ¿Peleándose? ¿Y quién va ganando? ¿Darryl? Ha dado por lo menos clase y media de taekwondo.
Scratch: No, los profes se están peleando. No han decidido lo de Darryl. Pero déjame volver, voy a perderme lo mejor.
Director O'Connor: Creo que el castigo más justo es… seis años sin recreo.
Darryl: Pero solo me quedan tres años de estar aquí.
Director O'Connor: Uh, no al paso que vas.
Sharon: A la porra lo de empezar de cero en otro colegio.
Pete: Creía que en Brighton todo sería diferente.
Darryl: Solo intentaba animar un poco el recreo. Es un aburrimiento desde que prohibieron los columpios.
[grita]
Pete: Eso no te da derecho a coger el carro del conserje. ¿No hemos tenido esta conversación antes?
Darryl: ¡No! Antes fueron carros del súper, carros de limpieza…
Pete: Pues está todo prohibido. Si tiene ruedas, tienes prohibido cogerlo.
Darryl: Ay… ¿Cuál es tu secreto, Molly? A ti nunca te mandan al despacho del director. ¿Qué haces que no haga yo?
Molly: Es más bien lo que no hago yo.
Scratch: Que es todo lo que haces tú, prácticamente.
Darryl: Igual podrías enseñarme tus trucos, a no meterme en problemas.
Molly: Uh, en plan… ¿darte clases?
Molly: Bienvenidos, alumnos, a mi primer seminario de cómo ser…
Scratch: ¡Buh! Ser bueno es de pardillos. ¡Oye!
Molly: Deja de distraer a los alumnos. Hoy aprenderemos los 12 pasos a seguir para ser buenos.
Darryl: ¿Doce? Escucha, mi capacidad de atención es de unos 15 minutos, incluyendo la pausa de…
Molly: Dejaremos lo de respetar a los mayores, tener moral, cuidar gatos callejeros… Vamos con los tres pasos esenciales. Paso uno: piensa en los demás.
Cantante: ♪ Agrada agradar ♪
♪ Lo decía mamá ♪
♪ Gentil ser gentil ♪
♪ Es alegre alegrar ♪
♪ Agrada agradar ♪
[grita]
♪ Agrada agradar ♪
♪ Agradar, oh, sí ♪
[grita]
♪ Agrada agradar ♪
♪ Lo decía mamá ♪
♪ Gentil ser gentil ♪
♪ Es alegre alegrar ♪
Darryl: Querida familia, el desayuno está servido. Con mucha leche condensada en el roti canai, como te gusta.
Sharon: ¿Cómo lo sabías?
Darryl: La gente buena presta atención, lo he aprendido de Molly.
Pete: Esto parece un restaurante.
Sharon: Vaya, Darryl, gracias. Molly, parece que tus clases funcionan.
Scratch: Mmm, qué rico estaba ese roti.
Darryl: Vaya, hacer el bien realmente sienta bien.
Molly: ¿Qué ha pasado?
Director O'Connor: ¡Los profesores! ¡Los profesores han desaparecido!
Niños: ¡Bien!
Director O'Connor: ¡Esperad! ¡Sigo siendo responsable de vosotros hasta las 15:14!
- [gritos]
- [explosión]
Darryl: ¡Vaya! Esto ha salido genial.
Molly: Espera, ¿esto es cosa tuya?
Darryl: No, hermana, es cosa de los dos. Seguí tus consejos. Detecté el problema y asumí la responsabilidad de pensar en los demás. ¡Y encontré una solución! El problema es que se cargaban la diversión. ¿Cómo deshacerme de ellos? Me acordé de que había un furgón de reclusos cerca, por lo de la limpieza de la carretera, así que les di a los profes unos monos naranjas para que los dejaran subir, y falsifiqué una nota del director O'Connor anunciando su día de fomento del trabajo en equipo.
PRISIÓN DE BRIGHTON
Sr. Bates: Es un sitio raro para fomentar el trabajo en equipo, pero bueno…
Sra. Roop: [ríe] Bates, no me pongas tan fácil meterme contigo.
Molly: ¿Has mandado a nuestros profesores a la cárcel?
Darryl: Por tu cara, se podría decir… ¿que estás orgullosa?
Scratch: Lo siento, solo quería inmortalizar este momento. Y una más con el filtro del fracaso.
Molly: Eso está mal, Darryl. ¡Muy, muy, muy mal!
Darryl: ¿Cómo? ¡Mira! Están todos superfelices.
Molly: Lo están los niños. Pero ¿qué hay de los profes? ¿Crees que están superfelices en la cárcel?
Darryl: ¿Los profes tienen sentimientos? ¿Qué? ¿Hasta dónde llega esto? Ser bueno es más difícil de lo que pensaba.
Molly: ¿Tú crees?
Darryl: Bueno, pues… Para arreglar esto, tenemos que… ¿huir del país?
Molly: ¡Salvar a los profes!
Darryl: ¡Salvar a los profes, sí! Me lo has quitado de la boca, hermana.
Srta. Lightfoot: ¡Vaya! Si que es realista esta escape room. Hasta las paredes huelen a… desesperación.
Sra. Roop: Avisaré a mi mujer que llegaré tarde.
Guardia: ¡Nada de móviles!
Sra. Roop: ¡Oh, qué auténtico!
Sr. Bates: Ja, estos barrotes son muy falsos. Vale, la producción es bastante buena.
Sra. Roop: Bueno, manos a la obra. Pam hará Strogonoff esta noche y no quiero perderme eso. Empecemos a buscar pistas.
Molly: No lo entiende, están encerrados por error.
Guardia: Lo siento, niña. Ni os dejaré entrar a vosotros ni dejaré salir a nadie.
Darryl: Tranquila, sé cómo entrar. Pero puede que debamos ser un poco malos para hacer el bien.
Srta. Lightfoot: ¡Oh! ¿Esto es una pista?
Sr. Bates: Te tenía por una inepta y un incordio, Lightfoot, pero has demostrado lo contrario. En este caso.
Sra. Roop: Mira, solo tenemos que cavar un agujero.
Darryl: Vale, Scratch, atraviesa la valla y abre la puerta para que entremos.
Scratch: Lo normal es que la gente intente salir de la cárcel, no entrar, pero ¿qué más da? ¡Ah!
Darryl: ¿Está muerto?
Molly: No creo que un fantasma pueda morir…
Scratch: ¡Uh! Mirad, es la gran experta en fantasmas que viene a contarnos todas esas cosas de experta en fantasmas que sabe.
Molly: ¿La electricidad hace que los fantasmas se atonten?
Scratch: Menos mal que estás aquí para iluminarnos, gran experta.
Sr. Bates: Por ahí viene el guardia.
Sra. Roop: Y 72, 73, 74…
Srta. Lightfoot: Omm…
Sra. Roop: ¡Hola! 83…
Sra. Roop: ¡Uh! Esta vez nos hemos librado.
Scratch: [toca la armónica]
Molly: ¡Scratch, venga, abrenos la puerta, por favor!
Scratch: [toca la armónica] ♪ Este es el blues de la prisión ♪ ¡Guau!
Molly: Me parece genial, pero ¿puedes abrir?
Scratch: ♪ Es el blues de la prisión ♪ ¡Guau!
Molly: Fantástico, Scratch, pero ¿puedes por favor abrir…?
[Scratch toca la armónica]
Srta. Lightfoot: Bien, lo logramos.
[pájaro pía]
Sr. Bates: ¿Cómo saltaremos esa valla?
Darryl: No creo que podamos sacar a los profes, Molly. Al menos no hasta que Scratch duerma la mona.
Scratch: [ronca]
Darryl: No se me da nada bien ser bueno, yo siempre voy a ser malo.
Molly: No vas a ser perfecto de la noche a la mañana. Date tiempo. Pero mientras tanto… ¡vamos a cavar!
[alarma]
Guardia: ¡Por aquí!
[ladridos]
[gritan]
Sr. Bates: Carrera de obstáculos.
Tommy Knuckles: ¿Señora Roop?
Sra. Roop: ¡Tommy Knuckles! Historia de sexto…
Sra. Roop y Tommy Knuckles: Tercera hora.
Guardia: ¡Alto ahí!
Sr. Bates: ¡Pst!
Srta. Lightfoot: Vamos a suspender lo del trabajo en equipo.
Sr. Bates: Necesitaríamos un cohete para salir de aquí.
Sra. Roop: Puede que ese delicuente de McGee tuviera una buena ocurrencia.
Scratch: Ah… ¿Qué ha pasado? Qué dolor de cabeza.
Scratch: ¿Ah?
Profesores: [todos] ¡Uh!
Scratch: Vale, creo que me he perdido muchas cosas.
[timbre]
Sra. Roop: No voy a mentir, no tenía mucha fe en vosotros, pardillos. Pero al final formamos un buen equipo.
Sr. Bates: ¡Ja, ja! Pues sí.
Srta. Lightfoot: ¡Vamos, equipo!
Molly: ¿Quién iba a pensar que la cárcel uniría a la gente?
Darryl: ¡Sí! Espero poder ir a la cárcel algún día.
Scratch: Seguro que irás, colega. Seguro que irás algún día.
Darryl: Muchas gracias, Molly. Me has enseñado una valiosa lección.
Molly: Oh. Me alegra escuchar eso.
Darryl: [ríe] Sí. He aprendido que, aunque me esfuerce mucho por ser bueno, sigo haciendo las cosas mal, así que debería ser yo mismo y esperar tener suerte.
Molly: Espera, ¿qué?
Darryl: Y ahora, si me disculpáis, el carro de la tele me está llamando a gritos.
Molly: ¡No, no, no, no! ¡Esa no es la lección!
[explosión]
Scratch: Desapúntame de tus clases.